Sunday, November 7, 2010

Healing is hard

The pain you caused can’t be healed with an apology

You hurt me for life and forgiveness isn’t easy

I can’t continue with a normal life

You don’t care you moved on hurting the next one

Other men suffer for what you have caused!

I damn you for life and hope you get what you deserve

Some try to heal me

Many fail

Some don’t even try they don’t care

They say it’s your fault and not an excuse

For those who knew me know I’m capable of more

You limited my emotions and let my love die

Trust no longer exist in my head

You took that away

Many don’t know

Many will never know

I will heal not now but one day

You will see, I can grow and be better

Judgement day is sooner than you think!

Friday, June 4, 2010

im still busy with the story so watch this space

Forbidden

“Your fingertips across my skin, the palm trees swaying in the wind. You sang me Spanish lullabies the sweetest sadness in your eyes clever trick, I never want to see you unhappy, I thought you want the same for me…”

My mind is racing, images overwhelm me. Get out! Get out of my head! For heaven’s sake can’t you just let me be? Charles’s eyes searched up and down my body for an answer. “Well?” I asked “What do you want me to say Catharine?” “I want you to make it all better. I want my heart back.” Charles was upset, he replied “Catharine you know I love you, I always will but this isn’t going to work anymore.” I felt disgusted. A rush of rage raced through my body. I can’t do this anymore. I am weak my body is confused; I don’t know when to fight and when to give up. My emotions have overtaken my soul I am not who I used to be. I used to be strong, fearless. I had a mind to conquer the world and everything within it. But now I don’t have a reason to go on any more.

By the way I am Catharine Wright; I’m a 17 year old sophomore at Denver High Colorado. My parents are both still married, I have a twin brother who is two minutes older than I am, and his name is Bobby. Bobby and I have a typical sibling relationship; he is the one I go to when things get rough. I also have three best friends, Sasha, Rene and Chelsea. Sasha is a long girl with long dark hair and a tanned skin. She has braced, but her beautiful eyes always steal the show. Rene has blonde hair, she has blue eyes and is very loving, and she has a personality as crazy as a goose’s. Chelsea is a year younger than the rest of the group, but she sure is the brightest. Chelsea has long brown hair, dark eyes and has an original style and sense of humour. They all are great friends one not greater than the other one but they are all equal in Catharine’s eyes.

It all began in the year 2009, I was in grade ten. It was one of those great years in high school. The new school year was heading my way very fast. When dawn broke my eyes were already open, I lay thinking in my bed what the agenda was for the day. Suddenly my phone rang. “Hey, there Cat how are you?” “Hello..? Who am I speaking too?” “Oh sorry Cat it’s me Charles.” My heart went ballistic when I heard his voice. My crush is on the phone, and he wants to talk to me. Where did he get my phone number? Bobby! “Hello Charles, I’m fine thanks, what are doing today?” My voice almost hesitated. A moment of silence past, when I heard someone laughing in the background I became suspicious. “Nice going Charles you almost went out with a loser.” I was stunned. My mind went blank I didn’t know what to do. I hung the phone up and fell on my bed. What just happened? What did I do to deserve such an embarrassment? Was I just a joke to him and his friends? I thought it was my time to shine but my world came crushing down real hard! Why?

The sound of something in the house woke me. It wasn’t the dogs because both of them were sleeping on my bed. A smashing sound echoed threw out the dead cold hall. It wasn’t my imagination. I got up and threw my feet of the bed; I got up almost like a spring. The dark hall kind of scared me I didn’t know what to expect. I got into the kitchen and a brick laid on the floor. There was a note attached to it.

I’m sorry about this afternoon; my friends dared me to phone you. I ask of you nothing but to accept my apology. I behaved rudely and unacceptable. I would really like to make it up to you.

Love...Charles

I thought this was a dream so I pinched myself and it hurt. Dreams can’t wake you like this. I got a feeling someone was looking at me. I turn to face the window and Charles waved at me. He gestured something with his hands. I caught on and went out. It was chilly outside; the cold wind blew right through you. It felt like the polar bears were living next door or something. “Hey Cat” his voice soft and gentle. “Hey Charles, thanks for breaking my window.” I though a little bit of humour would break the ice. “Ha-ha, I will pay for that I swear, I didn’t want to break the window I was trying to aim for the mailbox.” He got a grin on his face and winked at me. I was trying not to get too caught up in this romance; I was scared he might hurt me. The pain I’ve had in my relationships with guys wasn’t quite something to be proud of. I’ve caused a lot of pain and it always back fires on me. A lot of memories from my past relationships replayed in my thoughts. All of them ended in disaster. I drifted away too quickly, I wondered if he would notice? He stared at me with those big dark blue eyes almost as blue as the water in the Atlantic Ocean. He had this funny expression on his face. I think he wanted me to answer something. “I’m sorry did you say something?” I felt the blood rushing into my cheeks, it got warm and I actually blushed. I felt clueless. He had a vast smile on his face. “Cat, do you always act like this when someone talks to you?” It took me a while to find an answer in my empty head. “No not really, I just have a lot of things on my mind when you’re around.” I felt really stupid, because I just had my foot in my mouth. “My dear Cat I don’t believe I have ever seen you like this are you okay?” “Yes, no I’m a little tired; you woke me with that brick message of yours.” “I’m sorry I shall leave you alone until dusk breaks.” My heart melted when he talked like he was in some kind of fairytale. “Fair well my lady I shall meet you at school tomorrow, send my regards to your mother and father.” “Goodbye, Charles I can’t wait to see you.” I said sarcastically. I went to bed and immediately closed my eyes. I really hoped that this wasn’t some kind of wicked dream.

Dawn broke the birds woke me and I couldn’t wait to get up. I had a weird dream last night, I hope it was real. A weird sound came from my window; it was distracting; I walk towards it to see what was going on. So he kept his word? There he was in this black t shirt that fitted tight around his body, he wore skinny jeans and a pair of black en white sneakers. He is quite up to date with his fashion. “Morning how can I help you?”I was surprised he actually came. “Good morning dear I’m glad to see you didn’t forget what I told you?” he had this extremely handsome look on his face. His jaw had very detail and he had the most well shaped lips any teenage girl would dream of. His smile was big and bright he could stop traffic with just about every piece of his body.

I could smell the scent of his aftershave it was very sharp but still inviting, it could attract many girls from miles a far. He carried a leather jacket in his right hand, one hand in his pocket as he walked towards his ’95 Mustang. Charles’s parents were rich they lived in the biggest house in the city. If you could describe a Greek god he would look like Charles. Charles had two best friends Taylor and Gerry. Taylor was a tall dark haired guy with dark brown eyes. Gerry was the opposite of them both he was your typical jock; he had blonde hair, baby blue eyes a smile that you could see a mile away.

I finally got dressed I wore a pair of black skinny jeans and paired it up with a plain white skirt and flat knee high boots. It was cold in Denver when the winter came. Sometimes it even snowed. I grabbed an apple on my way out. He made small talk with my brother as he waited for my.

He grinned when he saw me coming; I think he had an entrance of me in his mind........